The Brian Flores Lawsuit Raises a few Questions
Race experts don't know if Brian Flores is black or whatever
If you haven’t been following the latest NFL coach hiring drama that’s probably a good thing and you should focus on what’s going on with Russia invading Ukraine.
But since this is America it’s obvious nobody is going to do that so we should probably talk about some incredibly trivial bullshit to quell your diabetic seizures.
Brian Flores, who coached the shitty and disappointing Miami Dolphins for three seasons, is suing the NFL because he did not get hired as the coach of the New York Giants.
Before this discussion takes place it should be acknowledged that being a football coach is a laughable job which entails a guy puffing his chest out and acting like he is in the military while Cheetos commercials run.
It’s a ridiculous thing that only a huge tool would want to do, and so it follows that American males have been diluted into thinking it is important.
Much of this has to do with the military propaganda by which the NFL subsidizes its cockfighting.
Anyway, Brian Flores is suing the NFL alleging racial discrimination, with his complaint being that he did not get hired because he is black. Or, Black, if you read the New York Times.
I myself am BEIGE. Yeah, all caps. Why? Who the fuck knows. I know some people. It’s going to be the new thing, trust me.
The NFL is by definition a largely racist institution run by a pudgy little fuck named Roger Goodell, who made $128 million dollars over the last two years simply by being the son of a Republican congressman.
The Republican party is by definition Racist at this point in time, because their current mission is to ensure that it is more difficult for people in counties and neighborhoods which are predominantly African American, to vote.
Another way of saying that, which is equally accurate, is that they don’t want black people to vote. This is a fact.
Fact. Fact. Undeniable fact. Fuck yourself if you think otherwise. I hate you. I want to punch you. Bearded fat fuck with twelve children. Cool Oakleys. Idiot. Fuck you. Whose your team?
Roger Goodell has benefited from racism, that’s a fact. Is he a racist? I have no idea if he knows he is or not.
The empirical data shows that he is indeed a racist, because he openly supports a party which traffics in racism while he employs black people at a rate of about seventy-fiver percent.
That figure is in reference to the players. The administration of the NFL is about ninety percent white. Or White, if you are into Fox News.
Because of this strong history of consistently demeaning black people, the NFL, under pressure from people who are most certainly not Republicans, noticed a robust lineage of discrimination, and instituted the Rooney Rule.
The Rooney Rule is a form of affirmative action bred out of necessity and it stipulates that NFL teams need to interview a non-white guy to give them a fair chance at having an interview for a head coaching job.
I can’t imagine what these interviews are even comprised of. It must be something like this:
Dumb Fuck NFL Owner: “I’m a billionaire, not me personally, but my parents, and I’m looking real serious right now. Do you think you can look real serious when the cameras cut to you?”
Potential Coach: “Yes Sir.”
Dumb Fuck NFL Owner: “You want a hooker or something?”
Potential Coach: “Was that a test?”
This is where, as a liberal person, I get a little conflicted. The New York Giants needed to hire a new football coach. They knew who they wanted to hire, and it was not Brian Flores.
You could look at it two ways if you are a tax haven piece of shit NFL owner trust fund cunt, or if you are taking orders from them:
It’s an annoying inconvenience that we have to pretend to want to hire this guy who kind of sucked at coaching football before, or,
we should really debate this hiring based on a quota. This rule has made me reflect on a lot of things, particularly that I have never actually worked.
Picture being either pretty fat or skinny-fat when you recite this. I don’t really know. I see both sides of this discussion that is missing the point.
What I don’t exactly get, and please feel free to let me know, is whether or not Brian Flores is black.
Evidence suggests that his name is Brian Flores. It’s not exactly Tyrone Washington. His parents are both from Honduras. That is a Central American country. It would be unusual for a Honduran person to check the Black box on a survey.
I don’t know if he’s Black, or just a Honduran person with a dark complexion. I mean, I just took a DNA test and I’m twenty percent African. Is there maybe, and I mean maybe, something performative going on here?
It’s just nobody has brought this up. How can you tell if you didn’t get hired because you are black, or if you didn’t get hired because of independent reasons?
It’s just a question. Don’t come at me with some alt-right cloaked bullshit. I don’t want to hear any racist rants. I’m just wondering if a first-generation Honduran person is by definition black. I know a lot of Mexicans who have dark skin. It’s all good. I really don’t place any value on it either way.
At what point is someone identifying as black to take advantage of a necessary and well-intentioned rule? Or not?
I legitimately don’t know but these are the types of conversations white people should be having without having to resort to right-wing hysterical bullshit or worry about losing tenure at Berkeley.