The Ethics of NBA Flopping
It goes far beyond basketball and represents a cultural divide.
If you ask any NBA fan what they hate most about the league, they’re pretty likely to say flopping.
Worse, if you ask someone who makes it explicitly known that they don’t like the NBA, I’ve found the reason they give is almost one-hundred-percent going to be flopping.
And yet, flopping persists. I just watched the Mavericks play the Clippers, and James Harden jerking his head up and down like a Tourette’s patient and pretending he was hit in the face in a performance rivaling Amber Heard is infuriating, so I understand the guys who flat-out dismiss the NBA (I’m not sure why they’re always wearing Carhartts and have a blocky goatee, though.)
It persists because the referees, as if they were freshly shipped in from North Korea and immune to the concept, continue to incentivize it by blowing the whistle. This country really seems to have a problem with rewarding douchey behavior.
It got me to wondering why flopping produces such intense feelings of anger and disgust.
It’s because it’s cheating. It’s not technically illegal. You can do it, it’s just dishonest, like showing up to dinner and then pretending you just now noticed you forgot your wallet.
It’s manipulative. It’s the weak man’s easy way out.
I’m not going to do my best to score, I’m going to put it on the zebras to bail me out.
An extreme left-wing, welfare state mentality.
A real man would simply say, “I’m broke as hell, I spent all my money at the casino last night, I’m pretty sure my wife is cheating on me with Becky’s softball coach, and I have no intention of paying for my own dinner, I’ll get you back next time, so let’s eat, I’ll have the lobster!”
People watch sports, in part, for the meritocracy of it. There’s not supposed to be injustice. Even if there is, it’s supposed to be black and white. A missed call. A dirty play.
Not a slimy, political maneuver. That’s the antithesis of sport.
And I think that exacerbates why flopping produces such intense anger when witnessed, because it reminds people of their real lives, beyond sports.
There are people who are flopping, not on the basketball court, but out in the everyday world, and, much like those in the NBA who are guilty of it, I wish they’d stop being rewarded.
Have you ever gone to a job interview where you did your homework, got a haircut, got dressed up, kissed the person’s ass (who made you wait forty-five minutes) and at the end of it they said, “That was great, I’ll give you a call tomorrow,” and then you never hear from them again because they’re too spineless to just tell you they’re probably not even hiring?
Flop!
Have you ever thrown a party, let’s say Fourth of July, with all of the fixins? You got burgers for the grill and potato salad and five bags of Dorritos, and everyone is bringing deviled eggs and cases of Corona, and that one friend shows up with a three dollar bottle of Trader Joe’s wine?
Worse yet, at the end of the party they have the gall to put a cork in the half-drunk bottle back home with them?
That’s a flop!
It’s not illegal, it’s just not in the spirit of the event. It’s in poor taste.
Ever been dating a girl and she tells you that she likes you more than some other guy but he makes more money, so God Bless and Take Care!
Flopping!
Have you had a friend help you move a couch in his truck, it takes half an hour, so you say, “Hey, as a thank you, let me buy you dinner," and he then suggests a trendy sushi place and proceeds to order half the menu?
He’s flopping all over the place!
Ever lent a friend some money, you’ve then seen them in social settings several times and they don’t mention it, so now you have to approach them about it?
That’s flopping! Kick him out of the game! The game of life!
Have you ever given a friend your spare bicycle because you are getting a new one, and he mentioned something about wanting to get into biking? Then a few days later you notice he’s selling it on Offer Up?
Flop!
Ever had someone pee all over your bathroom floor and not clean it up?
I could keep going, but I think the point has been hammered enough, although I’ll go one better.
I think the players who flop in the NBA also flop in real life.
I think it’s indicative of their character, and I think it’s why LeBron James stays up at night wondering why nobody likes him as much as Jordan, Magic, Bird or Kobe, and I get the strong feeling that James Harden would pee all over your toilet seat and does it all of the time.