The Strangest Claims From Octomom's Instagram Page
It appears Nadya Suleman is prone to hyperbole
It’s been over a decade since the media spectacle surrounding Nadya Suleman, dubbed the “Octomom” - a moniker she despises - fizzled out and left us with more questions than answers.
There have been many developments in her story since then. A quick crash course:
She has been raising her fourteen children (she had six children prior to giving birth to octopulets) as a single mother at her home in La Habra, California.
She made a pornographic film titled Octomom: Home Alone, which involves a bathtub and herself as the sole participant.
The doctor who performed her fertility treatments leading her to be pregnant with octuplets was investigated as a result of the Octomom coverage and was promptly stripped of his medical license.
The hospital where she gave birth was fined $250,000 for leaking her medical records to the press.
She filed for bankruptcy, declaring she had fifty thousand dollars in assets and a million dollars in debt.
She was convicted of welfare fraud, having bilked the state of California out of twenty six thousand dollars, and received two hundred hours of community service and two years of probation. This was after she had claimed, in many interviews, to not be receiving public benefits.
Her fraternal-twin children, who just celebrated their thirteenth birthdays, have long been the owners of a Guinness World Record for being the longest surviving octuplets in recorded history. The previous record was one week.
Suleman dropped off the map years ago, so I was wondering what she’s up to these days. I stumbled upon her Instagram account, where she regularly writes lengthy passages of her philosophical reflections. She has taken on a spiritual, wizened tone, much of it with the theme of acceptance and trust in God.
There is also an underlying current of undeniable battyness, or perhaps something more serious. You know that feeling when someone appears to be an outwardly normal and productive person, but you know there’s something wrong with them but can’t articulate it? Suleman conveys this every time she writes something, and without effort.
Here’s what I got from snooping around her Instagram page:
1. She is obsessed with being vegan.
2. She claims thirteen of her fourteen children are vegan. It’s unclear what’s up with the other one.
3. This is an actual quote: “My daughter Calyssa (pictured ingesting raw chard) has internalized and now exhibits similar healthy behaviors as me.” Who says “Ingesting raw chard?”
4. Another quote: “The goal is to ingest foods with ingredients consisting of the actual food itself, aside from spices.” What does this mean? There are two categories of things you can eat: Food and Spices?
5. This quote: “You would be surprised to learn how basic, simple, natural foods such as potatoes, beans, quinoa, and rice contain more vitamins, minerals, and protein than any animal product, and can be incredibly tasty too!”
Potatoes have more protein than a chicken breast? Quinoa has the highest protein content of the foods she mentioned, at 8 grams per cup. Chicken has 38. What she saying is very incorrect.
6. She mentions dozens of times that she only uses bottled water to boil her vegetables: “Never use tap as it becomes more toxic when boiled.” Right, boiled tap water is pretty hard on your body. Probably worse than having fourteen kids.
7. Along with her family she goes through AT LEAST four bags of dried beans per day. “We make several bags a day! We dice two large onions for four bags.”
8. She soaks the dried beans in spring water: “Soak dried beans in spring water (we soak overnight.)”
9. Is it possible she is vegan because all she can afford are bags of beans? Normally you wouldn’t make fun of someone for such reasons, but she brought this on herself.
10. She says that her job is taking her kids around to various activities. So she has no paying job to go along with her fourteen kids.
11. The names of her octuplets are: Nariyah, Isaiah, Maliyah, Jeremiah, Noah, Josiah, Jonah, and Makai! All of the names don’t all start with the same letter. This is shocking.
12. In writing a public letter of praise to her children she says “Each of you possess rare and unique characteristics, and are unlike any other child of your age, particularly in our society today.” So her children are more unique than other people’s children, but maybe would have been conformists if they were born in a different time period?
13. “I am also against medication to "manage" pain, and since becoming a raw vegan and ingesting natural supplements like turmeric, pain has subsided by over 50%.” She is now claiming to be a raw vegan, yet most of her page is centered around cooking beans.
14. In this photo she claims her child is getting “dental surgery” but he’s clearly sitting on a gurney and not in a dentist chair. Is that normal?
15. She claims that after delivering her eight babies that she was kidnapped by an unknown entity who would not let her escape until she gave interviews to the press. Seems unlikely and I’m certain she was on drugs when she wrote this.
“I was taken to a deserted, hidden home, security guards in tow, “protecting” me. They confiscated my cell phone, and I couldn’t speak to or see my kids, or any family. The hospital gave me an ultimatum: I would only be able to see my kids if I partake in a news interview to “clear” my name (hospitals as well).”
16. She works out constantly and runs marathons.
17. She is active in her church.
18. She is currently single.
19. She writes that she values her privacy and that she “Hates the camera.” Why would you have an Instagram account and a porno movie?
20. She believes that she was unfairly targeted and that this story would not have been considered freakish if it happened today:
“Had I given birth to Octuplets at a more recent time in history, I would never have been the target of media humiliation, misrepresentation, or becoming the poster person for “mommy shaming.”
All in all it seems she is doing exactly as you would expect. Certainly this could have gone a lot worse, and the fact that she is a babbling loon shouldn’t preclude this story from being a huge win. To her credit all of the children look happy and healthy.
Although this outcome is far from ideal, Suleman actually deserves a minuscule amount of credit. She is doing the best she can. It’s not good, but she’s putting in the effort.
www.Instagram.com/NatalieSuleman