I was friends with Tom a long time ago, as well as his sister. We had a falling out around 2010, and didn’t keep in touch but I have come to the same eerie feelings wanting to check up on him, worried about where he went and whether or not he’s okay. It has kept me up on multiple nights and I have attempted to reach out to get in touch with his sister, but they have always been, at times reclusive. The Tom I knew was deeply personally religious. I spent many nights talking him through a break up, a car accident with significant back pain, and a comedy of errors that was his life for a bit in 2007. I have pages and pages of journal entries from this time because he was such a big part of my life for a while. Meanwhile my ex husband was growing a friendship with his sister, and they were both planned to be in our wedding at one point. I still kept tabs on his career for a while, hoping he would make his dreams come true and I couldn’t wait to be able to say I knew him when. Eventually I stopped hearing about him and tried checking up on him only to find the odd Twitter, go fund me, posts from. Jenna on her own social media etc and it has haunted both myself and my ex ever since.
I have always felt that there was something more going on, a nameless disease that was very vaguely alluded to, a doctor who treated over the phone, treatments and care and prognosis that ONLY she knew combined with isolation never sat well with me. Im having a hard time believing it could be drugs. How do they stay together this long, avoid arrest, her maintain some sense of a normal life outwardly while he doesn’t and both be doing drugs? I know all too well how drug addiction can affect people and families but for there to be this many years without at least an arrest, or people publicly talking about one or both of them? When I knew him, he wouldn’t even take a sip of alcohol at least mostly because of his religion. Mental health issues have always been a possibility for me, but never drugs. It’s all just so confusing. It feels like he dropped off the face of the earth with very little connections to anything. His mom posted one picture of them together in 2017 that was taken 3 years prior and said she missed him and was praying for him. It’s weird that Jenna also isn’t doing photography anymore and seems to have stopped doing a lot.
I will continue to think about him often and hope he’s okay but it will haunt me until I know he is 😣
I did a little digging a couple years back and found some pretty disturbing info regarding Jenna. I have screenshots i pulled from Jenna and Tom's moms facebook. Jenna sent his mom a threat on her facebook wall in 2017 saying "you have until x time to respond. tom's dying and you're pulling the plug'. I have screenshots of tom's grandmother asking jenna to have tom reach out to her and begging for an update. jenna just said "i'll have him reach out when he's feeling better". there's a couple more things like her saying in a comment that "she went through a similar thing when she was younger but she did it alone". I even went so far to find Jenna's sister and mom's socials and it looks like (but perhaps not) neither of them have had contact with her for many years - last I saw was 2016. Her sister just got married and Jenna didn't appear to be in any of the pics. Whatever they got into, it's deep. I follow his mom's IG in hope's she'll mention Tom so that I know she hasn't been cut off, but so far, no success.
It's likely that the "breakup" that "An old friend" mentioned is when my daughter was briefly engaged to TV in 2006-2007. He was deeply troubled back then, & his mental state was questionable. I agree with MR that he needs more than Jenna's uneducated care. To say that she's the "only one who can take care of him and his needs" is extremely suspicious. I pray he receives the help he needs.
I recently posted a vine compilation of vines I’d saved on my Dropbox. Tom was a favorite but I couldn’t remember his name. The long Twitter message also haunted me and reminded me very much of Brian Wilson and Gene Landy. I still believe it’s something like this and Drugs does not cut it for me. I have been suspicious for many years and I don’t even know the guy. I just know that after he began making vines regularly with her, things got weird. I always thought he was gay. He eluded to that in a vine with his roommate once. But I could be wrong. The thing that always bothered me was Jenna saying that she was the only person that could take care of him. It was way too Misery-esque for my liking (as you said). Anyway, every so often I would look him up until I sadly forgot his name and there would be nothing new anyway, until I found this tonight. I actually don’t know if you found anything new or if the relative you spoke to was told this and took it as truth even though it may only be an assumption. I still have so many questions. Thanks for taking the time to write this either way.
He joked about being gay a lot in the way a lot of guys in the early 2000’s did (I saw it so much in church youth groups and Tom was definitely religious) I only knew him to be in straight relationships one of whom he was engaged to and it was a very painful breakup.
Funny. I just quickly got that impression. They eluded to his roommate being gay and maybe they did a Vine about “being gay”. But none of that matters really. I was just doubly confused by Jenna being in the picture at all and why this girl friend was taking care of him. But all that makes more sense now.
It’s possible, it’s also possible he was bi, or possible it was just a joke. Of all the men I encountered who were from church or church adjacent in the early 2000’s, not a single one of them is at least out but they all joked about it. If you go to Tom’s YouTube channel he has stand up bits and sketches with his friend Yak where they would make gay jokes or gay adjacent jokes. But as far as I know he was a serial monogamist and I know him to have been in maybe 3-4 mostly long term total relationships since 2006. At least one was an engagement and it was long distance and ended not great in 2007 he dated one or two others I believe and he and Jenna have been together since the early 2010’s I believe
I feel like I got it wrong - misreading a couple of joke vines, honestly. I believe you’re right. He’s just straight. And for me, that makes so much more sense now, not knowing him at all, realizing that he was kind of in a real relationship with Jenna. She wasn’t just some rando, straight friend who was “taking care of him” all of a sudden. She was his girlfriend.
Yeah like I said it’s possible he is bi and closeted or bi and doesn’t realize it - it took me 35 years to realize I am 😂 but I am 100000% sure he and Jenna were real and in love and I think at least at one point happy. But her level of controlling the narrative and setting up the “only I can take care of Tom” “only I understand” gave serious munchausens by proxy vibes at the worst and very controlling deflecting vibes in the least. I never met her and we were not in active contact at that time, just fb friends but something about her always felt off to me and I never knew what but I just thought “he seems happy” 🤷🏻♀️ I don’t know if he and Yak were in contact at the time Tom disappeared but he might be a good person to talk to they were extremely close 2006-2010 at least.
Oh my gosh... Thanks so much for doing the digging. I was an acquaintance of Toms, met him at an open mike night and we became fast friends ( as did everyone that met him). I followed his stand up career for a few years and it was such a pleasure getting to know him and see his art grow. It was shocking how things unfolded online with Jenna... it was suppperrr weird but I wanted to support him the only way it seemed we could... and I donated to the Gofund me. Im so so so very sad to hear it was drugs. Literally never crossed my mind either. Poor guy.... damn. What a bright, beautiful guy inside and out. Heartbreaking.
I am so happy to find this after my about 3-5 time a year search on Tom. He was such an important figure to me on vine and I could tell he was so funny and kind. I’m glad to know there are others who share the same sentiment
Wow. Years of googling his name once or twice every year, hoping for the best, and now getting this closure. I don’t know why I didn’t think of drugs either. I hope he is okay and that he gets better. Thank you for sharing.
I was friends with Tom a long time ago, as well as his sister. We had a falling out around 2010, and didn’t keep in touch but I have come to the same eerie feelings wanting to check up on him, worried about where he went and whether or not he’s okay. It has kept me up on multiple nights and I have attempted to reach out to get in touch with his sister, but they have always been, at times reclusive. The Tom I knew was deeply personally religious. I spent many nights talking him through a break up, a car accident with significant back pain, and a comedy of errors that was his life for a bit in 2007. I have pages and pages of journal entries from this time because he was such a big part of my life for a while. Meanwhile my ex husband was growing a friendship with his sister, and they were both planned to be in our wedding at one point. I still kept tabs on his career for a while, hoping he would make his dreams come true and I couldn’t wait to be able to say I knew him when. Eventually I stopped hearing about him and tried checking up on him only to find the odd Twitter, go fund me, posts from. Jenna on her own social media etc and it has haunted both myself and my ex ever since.
I have always felt that there was something more going on, a nameless disease that was very vaguely alluded to, a doctor who treated over the phone, treatments and care and prognosis that ONLY she knew combined with isolation never sat well with me. Im having a hard time believing it could be drugs. How do they stay together this long, avoid arrest, her maintain some sense of a normal life outwardly while he doesn’t and both be doing drugs? I know all too well how drug addiction can affect people and families but for there to be this many years without at least an arrest, or people publicly talking about one or both of them? When I knew him, he wouldn’t even take a sip of alcohol at least mostly because of his religion. Mental health issues have always been a possibility for me, but never drugs. It’s all just so confusing. It feels like he dropped off the face of the earth with very little connections to anything. His mom posted one picture of them together in 2017 that was taken 3 years prior and said she missed him and was praying for him. It’s weird that Jenna also isn’t doing photography anymore and seems to have stopped doing a lot.
I will continue to think about him often and hope he’s okay but it will haunt me until I know he is 😣
DM me on IG if you want to, @themattralston
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I did a little digging a couple years back and found some pretty disturbing info regarding Jenna. I have screenshots i pulled from Jenna and Tom's moms facebook. Jenna sent his mom a threat on her facebook wall in 2017 saying "you have until x time to respond. tom's dying and you're pulling the plug'. I have screenshots of tom's grandmother asking jenna to have tom reach out to her and begging for an update. jenna just said "i'll have him reach out when he's feeling better". there's a couple more things like her saying in a comment that "she went through a similar thing when she was younger but she did it alone". I even went so far to find Jenna's sister and mom's socials and it looks like (but perhaps not) neither of them have had contact with her for many years - last I saw was 2016. Her sister just got married and Jenna didn't appear to be in any of the pics. Whatever they got into, it's deep. I follow his mom's IG in hope's she'll mention Tom so that I know she hasn't been cut off, but so far, no success.
I get the feeling he’s been buried in the back yard and she’s cashing his disability checks.
It's likely that the "breakup" that "An old friend" mentioned is when my daughter was briefly engaged to TV in 2006-2007. He was deeply troubled back then, & his mental state was questionable. I agree with MR that he needs more than Jenna's uneducated care. To say that she's the "only one who can take care of him and his needs" is extremely suspicious. I pray he receives the help he needs.
That's interesting. I honestly think she may have killed him and is collecting his disability checks, etc.
I recently posted a vine compilation of vines I’d saved on my Dropbox. Tom was a favorite but I couldn’t remember his name. The long Twitter message also haunted me and reminded me very much of Brian Wilson and Gene Landy. I still believe it’s something like this and Drugs does not cut it for me. I have been suspicious for many years and I don’t even know the guy. I just know that after he began making vines regularly with her, things got weird. I always thought he was gay. He eluded to that in a vine with his roommate once. But I could be wrong. The thing that always bothered me was Jenna saying that she was the only person that could take care of him. It was way too Misery-esque for my liking (as you said). Anyway, every so often I would look him up until I sadly forgot his name and there would be nothing new anyway, until I found this tonight. I actually don’t know if you found anything new or if the relative you spoke to was told this and took it as truth even though it may only be an assumption. I still have so many questions. Thanks for taking the time to write this either way.
Thanks for reading. There are definitely still a lot of questions.
He joked about being gay a lot in the way a lot of guys in the early 2000’s did (I saw it so much in church youth groups and Tom was definitely religious) I only knew him to be in straight relationships one of whom he was engaged to and it was a very painful breakup.
Funny. I just quickly got that impression. They eluded to his roommate being gay and maybe they did a Vine about “being gay”. But none of that matters really. I was just doubly confused by Jenna being in the picture at all and why this girl friend was taking care of him. But all that makes more sense now.
It’s possible, it’s also possible he was bi, or possible it was just a joke. Of all the men I encountered who were from church or church adjacent in the early 2000’s, not a single one of them is at least out but they all joked about it. If you go to Tom’s YouTube channel he has stand up bits and sketches with his friend Yak where they would make gay jokes or gay adjacent jokes. But as far as I know he was a serial monogamist and I know him to have been in maybe 3-4 mostly long term total relationships since 2006. At least one was an engagement and it was long distance and ended not great in 2007 he dated one or two others I believe and he and Jenna have been together since the early 2010’s I believe
I feel like I got it wrong - misreading a couple of joke vines, honestly. I believe you’re right. He’s just straight. And for me, that makes so much more sense now, not knowing him at all, realizing that he was kind of in a real relationship with Jenna. She wasn’t just some rando, straight friend who was “taking care of him” all of a sudden. She was his girlfriend.
Yeah like I said it’s possible he is bi and closeted or bi and doesn’t realize it - it took me 35 years to realize I am 😂 but I am 100000% sure he and Jenna were real and in love and I think at least at one point happy. But her level of controlling the narrative and setting up the “only I can take care of Tom” “only I understand” gave serious munchausens by proxy vibes at the worst and very controlling deflecting vibes in the least. I never met her and we were not in active contact at that time, just fb friends but something about her always felt off to me and I never knew what but I just thought “he seems happy” 🤷🏻♀️ I don’t know if he and Yak were in contact at the time Tom disappeared but he might be a good person to talk to they were extremely close 2006-2010 at least.
Oh my gosh... Thanks so much for doing the digging. I was an acquaintance of Toms, met him at an open mike night and we became fast friends ( as did everyone that met him). I followed his stand up career for a few years and it was such a pleasure getting to know him and see his art grow. It was shocking how things unfolded online with Jenna... it was suppperrr weird but I wanted to support him the only way it seemed we could... and I donated to the Gofund me. Im so so so very sad to hear it was drugs. Literally never crossed my mind either. Poor guy.... damn. What a bright, beautiful guy inside and out. Heartbreaking.
I am so happy to find this after my about 3-5 time a year search on Tom. He was such an important figure to me on vine and I could tell he was so funny and kind. I’m glad to know there are others who share the same sentiment
Wow. Years of googling his name once or twice every year, hoping for the best, and now getting this closure. I don’t know why I didn’t think of drugs either. I hope he is okay and that he gets better. Thank you for sharing.